Dear 16-year-old me,
It's been a while-- ten years to be exact.
Let me start by saying, you are beautiful-- not because a magazine, a boy, a friend, or even your mama says so. No, my darling, you are beautiful because you were created by a Maker that knows you intimately. He fashioned you from the tiniest strand of DNA to look like you do, talk like you do, and to be uniquely you. Turn off the tv. Put down the magazines. That's not who you were made to be. You were created for so much more than that. God created you with unique talents and abilities that you can use to make the world a better place. Don't suppress them for fear of standing out or being labeled as weird or different. As you try to fit this impossible mold that the world has given you, you are missing out on the beautiful life that God has for you if you'd only trust Him over what the magazines or tv are telling you to become. You were made for more.
You, precious one, are loved beyond all imagination-- not because of anything that you have done to earn this love, but because you have a Good Father. This is such a hard concept for you to grasp, I know. You have a desire to earn love. You work so hard to maintain good grades, be the best at anything that you attempt, and to be noticed in hopes of earning love. You try so hard to quietly please anyone and everyone around you in hopes that they will love you more or stay home more or lay aside painful habits. You sit silently in the room, all the while screaming to be noticed by anyone, longing for love and affection in the way that you understand it best. You feel as if no one understands. But, sweet one, be assured, there is One who always understands. You are trying so hard to earn His love that you have completely missed the fact that you can't earn His love. He. Loves. You. Period. This solid truth has been, since before you were born, is, even though you're 16 and awkward, and always will be, to 26 and long beyond. You were created by a Father that loves you with every fiber of His being. He is calling you tenderly to Him. You've seen Him move in the lives of those all around you. You've learned the words to say, when to raise your hands, and what to do to appear like you know Him and love Him. You know the Roman Road by heart and even how to witness (26 y.o. Kayla interjection-- that's a super scary thought.). You've convinced yourself and those around you that you were saved during "one of those Wednesdays" in youth group. You had to have been. Surely, you weren't living a lie. Yet, internally, you know that you have know idea who this Jesus really is or the life-transforming work that He can do. Just wait, little one, life has a lot of curveballs coming your way, but, take heart, you will survive, and, at 24, you will finally look up and notice and take hold of the hand of Christ reaching down into the pit to rescue you-- and your life will never be the same.
Truth-- your life has not been filled with roses and daisies. You've never gone without anything material that you needed-- food, water, shelter, etc. However, emotionally, you have had a tough road to be 16. Circumstances have forced you to grow up fast, and I know that there have been many times that you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. However, my love, let me assure you, the weight of the world was never on your shoulders-- you are not that important. The true weight of the world was on the shoulders of a man in Jerusalem 2000 years ago as He bore the sins of the world to pay the wages of sin and reconcile us to the Father. That's the weight of the world. You can fall. You can have a bad day. You can fail a test. It's not going to cause the world to topple. Wake up call: You are not the center of the universe.
When life does fall completely apart, you will realize that the ones you have pushed away are the ones that you needed the most. Those friends reaching out for reconciliation? Listen to them. The friends that want to tear through your walls of self-protection and love you for who you are? Let them.
Life will not be easy. You will fall. You will fail. However, ten years later, I can tell you with full confidence, that the Lord is faithful. He will see you through. He will sustain you even in the darkest times when it takes everything that you have to get out of bed and do life. He has not lost control even for a second. God is sovereign, and His will shall be done. Rest in that.
Love,
From a little older, little wiser...
Kayla
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