Where Are You, Christmas?

I loved Christmas.  Yes, I said loved (past tense), not love (present tense).  Let me explain...

So, growing up, Christmas was always my favorite.  I loved the excitement and the energy of opening presents.  I loved Santa.  I loved the anticipation.  I loved how everyone, no matter how they were the day before and how they were the day after, was happy on Christmas.  As a child, Christmas was my jam.  I also loved it because it was "Jesus's birthday" as I so often rattled off.  I knew that Christ came as a baby and was born in a manger.  I knew all about Gabriel and Joseph and the wise men and no room at the inn.  I knew it all--as a story.  I knew that that baby grew into a man that died on the cross for my sins.  I knew it.  And I "celebrated" Christmas every year as Jesus's birthday.

That is, until this year....Just keep reading...

This year, I found myself in a funk.  No Christmas spirit.  No "singing loud for all to hear." No rush to watch Elf, or The Santa Clause, or Miracle on 34th Street, or any of my other favorites.  No Christmas music from November 1st to December 31st.  None of that.  I was in a fog.  There was no anticipation, no excitement, no joy for Christmas.  There was stress.  Stress of how I would manage to buy everyone presents when I can barely stay afloat financially without the extra spending that Christmas entails.  The stress of finals looming near.  The stress of keeping my classroom afloat with the ever increasing Christmas fever.  Stress.  Crippling stress that characterized my every move... until this week.

This week, God began slowly speaking one word over me.... focus.  From the music my Spotify played, to the scriptures I read, to posts on Facebook, to the message from the minister that visited Fellowship of Christian Students, to conversations with family, to the word spoken in Pinelake Kids this morning, to the worship this morning, to the Pinelake sermon, to the Christ Community sermon, to conversations with friends, to tonight's worship service.... Focus, Kayla, focus.  Just look at me.  Keep your eyes fixed on me.  I'm the author and perfecter of your faith (Heb. 12:2).  Focus.  Quite honestly, throughout the week, I wrestled with that.  I thought of the many things that might be distracting me.  I pushed away things.  I pushed away people.  I put things off.  I left things undone.  But still my focus wasn't there.  I still could not focus.  I felt like I was missing something.  Why was my "Christmas spirit" still not there?  Was it because I drank from the red cup at Starbucks? (jk, jk). :)  What happened?

I didn't understand... until today.  First, the day started with Pinelake Kids.  Quite honestly, this morning, I felt like a child.  As Hannah, the children's minister, explained in a way that a child could understand that Christ humbled Himself, came down from His Heavenly throne, as a baby to be born in what would today be called a barn surrounded by "germs" as the kids pointed out this morning, it was like I was hearing it for the very first time.  You see, I'd heard all of this before.  I'd heard "Away in a Manger" over and over at Christmas time.  I'd heard the Christmas story.  I knew it was Jesus's birthday, but I didn't know Jesus then.  I didn't know this king that came as a babe.  I was simply regurgitating the information that was poured into me by Sunday School teacher after Sunday School teacher each year as December 1st rolled around.  Born in a manger, wise men, followed a star, mom was Mary, etc.  But to think about the fact that Christ didn't just come as a man to walk this Earth... Even more humbly, He came as a baby.... born in a stable... as a part of God's sovereign salvation plan.  That's something to get excited about.  That's something to celebrate.  That's far greater of a gift than anyone could ever give or receive on Christmas day. 

Tonight, we had Kingdom Come:  Christmas Night of Worship at my church.  It was just that--a Christmas night of worship.  We gathered to sing praises to the King and to celebrate the birth of our Savior.  So many songs that I'd mindlessly sang for so long, year after year, suddenly took on new meanings for me.  These are songs of worship.  When we sing, "Oh, come, all ye faithful..." are we adoring Him?  Are we being faithful?  When we sing, "Be near me, Lord Jesus.." in Away In a Manger, do we mean it?  Oh how I pray that we do.

You see, when I say the word Christmas, the culture that we live in immediately sees Santa, and mistletoe, and Christmas trees, and presents, and lights, and shopping, and cookies, and everything but Jesus.  So, I loved Christmas.  I loved the excitement, the anticipation of the man in the red suit coming down the chimney with all of my shiny, new toys.

Now, I love Jesus.  I love Christ.  I love my King who humbled Himself and loved us so much that He came into this world as a baby in a lowly manger, surrounded by germs, lived a perfect life, died on the cross to pay a debt that I could have never repaid, rose again, ascended into Heaven, and is coming back one day!  I love Christmas because it set God's beautiful plan of redemption into motion, when Christ came into this world ever so quietly and beautifully in a lowly manger behind an inn and changed this world forever.

So, this Christmas, I challenge you.  Don't just say, "Remember the reason for the season" mindlessly-- truly remember the reason for the season.  Don't get so wrapped up celebrating Christmas and all that that has come to entail, that you miss out on celebrating Jesus, who was born to save the world.