A Different Kind of Christmas

The big question... Are YOU ready for Christmas?

It's been asked for weeks, and over and over my answer was, "no way!!"  Until yesterday, I'd only bought one gift.  I have no Christmas tree.  I have been listening to Christmas music... sometimes.  And to be honest, the thought of Christmas approaching made me more than a little nauseous.

I was reminded time and time again of the joy of the season when Christ was born.  I was reminded of the hope that the Messiah lying in a manger brought.  I clung to that joy.  I clung to that hope.  As the darkness of seasonal depression creeped up on me like a thief in the night, one by one each speck of joy, each glimmer of hope was shadowed by fear and anxiety.  I tried to fight back with joy.  I fought back in prayer and the Word.  I sought counsel from close friends.  I journaled.  I did everything in my power to get out of the funk.

It wasn't until early last Sunday morning, when I got a call at 3 a.m.  telling me that my (ex)step-dad (my 2nd Daddy) was being rushed to Memphis by ambulance and was given a 50/50 chance to make it out of surgery alive, that I began to snap out of my rut.  Driving from Oxford to Batesville to meet my family in the wee hours of the morning gave me time to cry, pray, and just sit in silence.  I begged and pleaded with the Lord for supernatural healing, peace, understanding, and hope.  As we sat in the hospital waiting room longing for answers, hoping for good news, I watched Pinelake's live service.  As I listened to Mike Breaux bring the Word on the Light of Joy in this Christmas season and how joy extends far beyond our circumstances.  "Contentment is the not the achievement of all that we want.  It's the realization of what we already have."  That's the key to joy in all circumstances--a deep contentment rooted in gratitude for all that Father has given, with the most precious gift coming over 2000 years ago as a baby that came to reconcile us to the Father.  That's it.

So, I was on the road out of the funk.  I was joyful.  We witnessed a healing miracle as doctors were left speechless when Tim came out of the surgery-- no vent, no external support helping him survive.  He was sustained by the power of Almighty God.  In his own words, "I guess this means I made it out alive."  That he did.  And we stand amazed-- all glory to God-- our Christmas miracle.

This was a launch pad out of the pit of fear and anxiety that I had fallen into.  I was on the journey to joy.

Enter Tuesday (11:30 a.m. to be exact)--- My dad calls me during school hours, which never happens, so I answer it.  I hear his voice shaking on the other end of the line.  I'm not really sure what all he said because the room started spinning, but what I do remember is Papaw, looks bad, rushing to ER, ambulance, sheriff escort, stroke?, fall, can't talk...  I was in shock.  Wait, you mean my healthy Papaw?  The one who is never sick, wanders all over Pearidge, and is one of the most down-to-earth men I know?  WHAT?  The shock turned to sadness as I processed what I believed was happening.  One of my sweet students happened to notice and began to tell me about her journey of her grandfather having a stroke and his recovery and also of her journey in losing her dad only a year ago and walking through that tough time in her life.  Immediately, my worries seemed so small as I talked with this precious little one about the hard journey she had walked to this point.  As school ended and I watched the joy of Christmas break flood the faces of my littles as they ran down the hallway, the news began to sink in again... What happened?  Would he be okay?  About an hour later, my sister called me.  She could barely talk through the tears... it wasn't a stroke.. No, it was much worse... Doctors found 5-6 tumors on my Papaw's brain.  One of the tumors was pressing against his left side and causing stroke-like symptoms.  Back to Memphis we drove, trailing an ambulance yet again-- uncertain of what's to come.  We arrive in Memphis.  The doctors repeat all the tests and find that there are multiple tumors all across my Papaw's body.  We still do not have a definitive diagnosis-- but doctors are leaning towards lung cancer that has spread to his brain.  Devastation.  Fear.  Anxiety.  Sadness.  Anger.  Pain.  So many emotions.

Let me be the very first to say that this is not at all how I envisioned Christmas this year.  From celebrating from hospital rooms to the stillness and deafening silence of a Christmas afternoon that has been spent with family for years and years... this years Christmas will be a different one.  I know I'm not alone in this feeling or these emotions.

If you are facing a different kind of Christmas this year yourself, let me offer these few words of encouragement that I have clung to this past week:

1)  CHOOSE JOY!

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Joy is a choice.  Like it or not, we do not choose our circumstances, but we can choose joy.  The Lord is sovereign, and He is good in all that He does.  We have to trust this.  No matter what life throws our way, each and every day, we must choose joy and choose contentment.  We must choose to live with an attitude of gratitude.  Regardless of our fickle and fleeting emotions, we trust that His ways are higher, and day by day, moment by moment, second by second, we have to choose JOY!

2)  FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT!

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

Ephesians 6:12

We are in a war--a real, raging war.  Battle by battle we fight on.  Satan lies, schemes, and attacks in real time over and over again.  We can either choose to believe the lies of the enemy and live in defeat, or we can choose to rise up with the strength of Christ and fight the battle.  This we know... He has WON the victory!  He's fighting for us.  He has overcome.  Trust that.  Walk in victory.

3)  TRUST.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.  Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.  It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

Choosing joy and fighting the good fight are both rooted in trust.  HIs plans are higher, his ways are greater.  When the darkness has fallen and the outlook seems bleak, HE is the one with the last word.  Victory is HIS.  Trust that.  Call on Him, and He will answer.  Let Him wrap His loving arms around you through this season.

My hope is in the promise of Your blood,

My support within the raging flood,

Even in the tempest, I can sing

I'm hidden safe in the God who never moves

Holding fast to the promise of Your truth,

That You are holding tighter still to me.

This Christmas might be different in more way than I could have ever imagined, but this one thing remains.  Over 2000 years ago, a baby was born in a stable that changed the face of history.  Three hundred years of silence broken by the cry of a baby.  The promised Messiah had come.

JOY to the world!

Regardless of your circumstances, celebrate the King this Christmas!  He is worthy of every single broken hallelujah you can raise!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!